What’s an oven’s favorite comedy routine? Deadpan.

What did Descartes say while shopping online? I think therefore I Amazon

What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

Why are jokes about rotten eggs banned? Because they’re infeggtious

Why don’t you want your nose to be 12 inches long? because then it would be a foot!

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter? envelope

What happened to the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl? They had a MetLife crisis. (that’s the name of the stadium)

Do you know why one side of the the V formation of geese in flight is longer than the other side? Because It has more geese in it!

I know a woman who owns a taser… Let me tell you, she’s stunning!

Why did the mechanic go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to make a van go!